This comment is not meant to be hurtful or snarky: Welcome to college and the real world. Its nothing like the Acad where you band together and make friendships that mean something. AS for dealing with your friend... I had a great talk with Chris Woodiel about this over the weekend. I am a bit of a emotional masochist. Its not a sexual thing either. I try to take others pain and put it on myself. Not because I just want to hurt... I want to help that person. Its like wanting to be a hero. It doesnt work often. I learned over the years to try to stop it. To the point of going into it as a unbiased person and staying that way. Dont fight for either cause. Find the problem and if possible give solutions and possible outcomes. It may feel like you are being a unemotional asshole. And sometimes you are. With my route you listen to the problem or problems and then give some solutions that could fix it. But as a warning you give possible outcomes of each solution. You give words of reassurement and confidence. Honestly Sam I have used this with you when we have talked. Im not being fake when I say things. If I say them I mean them. But through personal experience I have learned to not gain a emotional attachment unless it warrants it. I have gotten burned following emotion. This method I use is meant to act as a wall to protect yourself. But I have the rule behind it that if I say it, its true and I mean every bit of it. I dont lie.
I try to support her and give her advice but everything I say she twists around and makes her situation worse. I'm really trying to help her but when she actually has things that I wish I had, it doesn't seem fair for her to complain. I'm just confused >.<
This comment is not meant to be hurtful or snarky: Welcome to college and the real world. Its nothing like the Acad where you band together and make friendships that mean something. AS for dealing with your friend... I had a great talk with Chris Woodiel about this over the weekend. I am a bit of a emotional masochist. Its not a sexual thing either. I try to take others pain and put it on myself. Not because I just want to hurt... I want to help that person. Its like wanting to be a hero. It doesnt work often. I learned over the years to try to stop it. To the point of going into it as a unbiased person and staying that way. Dont fight for either cause. Find the problem and if possible give solutions and possible outcomes. It may feel like you are being a unemotional asshole. And sometimes you are. With my route you listen to the problem or problems and then give some solutions that could fix it. But as a warning you give possible outcomes of each solution. You give words of reassurement and confidence. Honestly Sam I have used this with you when we have talked. Im not being fake when I say things. If I say them I mean them. But through personal experience I have learned to not gain a emotional attachment unless it warrants it. I have gotten burned following emotion. This method I use is meant to act as a wall to protect yourself. But I have the rule behind it that if I say it, its true and I mean every bit of it. I dont lie.
ReplyDeleteI try to support her and give her advice but everything I say she twists around and makes her situation worse. I'm really trying to help her but when she actually has things that I wish I had, it doesn't seem fair for her to complain. I'm just confused >.<
ReplyDelete